The Downfall of Being The Strong One

It can be so hard to express what we are feeling when what we are feeling doesn’t line up with how we are perceived in the world.  When how we are feeling is actually not congruent with how we see ourselves as a person and when there is a fear of being judged, perceived as weak and incapable and when we’ve spent years proving to the world that we have what it takes to handle it all. 

When we build a persona of being a strong person or having it all together and we find ourselves in an unfamiliar place of burn out and exhaustion where we don’t feel like that at all, we come to a cross roads where we deny our wellbeing to keep playing the game of pretense at the cost of dying a little more inside each day. 

Each day you push your own feelings further down, each day you put on that smile and walk out the door like “it’s all fine” you are denying yourself of the one gift that could bring you back to true joy, to a whole new level of happiness and actually give yourself the permission to live fully and own your truth. The gift to fell fully and allow your whole self to be seen. 

Underneath all the “getting on with it” and “denial” you are poisoning and numbing your body with addictions to keep going be it caffeine, sugar, alcohol, sex the list goes on.... 
You are denying your head of space to create clarity with a schedule that is jammed with appointments, meetings and events and you are inhibiting your own potential expanding by denying yourself self-care or time out and continuing to say yes to everyone else’s needs at the expense of your own. 

Re-evaluating the way in which we are living our life and actually creating space to get clear on what is truly important to us and what brings us joy is key to creating a focused path forward and freeing yourself from the constraints of a burnt-out existence.  This takes courage, to actually allow yourself the space to breathe and invest in the one asset that is holding everything together. 

Your Self!

You can seek all the intellectual help in the world in the form of books and courses but until you move out of your head and back into your own heart and are willing to let go of a way of life that is no longer serving your you will remain stuck in perpetual a cycle of self-sabotage. 

We are so clever at our patterns of “over-giving” “over-committing” and “denial of self-care” that the simplest solutions may be caught in the fog of your own head clutter.

So how can you move from a place of burning out to burning bright?

5 key steps

1. Bring Self Care into Focus

It’s not about how much time you have, it’s where you prioritise spending it.

Self Care can be as simple as taking 5 minutes out to consciously breathe, going for a 15 minute walk at lunch time, ensuring that you are nourishing your body with healthy food.  Look at all the ways in which you can bring practices into your day that nurture and support your body and begin to put yourself first.  Even if it is ensuring you eat something before feeding the family, shifting your focus to place more value on yourself is a shift your inner self will experience and be grateful for. 

2. Reclaim Your Time  - Say NO More Often

Recognise where you are giving away your own time for small favors, phone calls, meaningless television, office gossip, social media.  Really begin to look at where you’re spending your time and evaluate its importance to you. 

3. Schedule YOUR SELF into your diary

It’s easy to schedule in work projects, appointments and things that are obviously creating an ROI however understanding that without YOU working at optimal functionality none of the work will be done to the same standard.  Begin to schedule self-care into your work day as your biggest client wanting to invest more with you or your

4. Zone in

What is the ONE zone that is lacking your attention and causing the most disruption in how you are coping and being day to day.  

Self Care

Financial Management

Healthy Eating


Sleep Management

Time Management

Family Time

Relationship Focus

Choose this one zone and focus on three simple actions you can take this week to pull this area back into alignment.  Is there a conversation you get to have?  Is there a shift in your diet that is creating a pain point?  Are you ignoring the way in which money is moving in and out of your life?  What can you create a focus on with the intention to gain more clarity and feel more in control of and in alignment with. 

5. Call In Genuine Support

This is the BIG one that can be a real challenge for people in leadership roles and people who are used to being the one to handle it all so well.  Calling in support is key to allowing you to create more space to breathe in your life.  

Where are you currently not allowing support in? 

Honesty, Ownership and Courage are key here. 


Life is not going in the direction that I would like it to be at the moment and I recognise that I am not great at asking for support.  The area of my life that I would love some support in right now is _______.  I am asking you because I trust your guidance and appreciate your honesty.  Can you assist me in creating ways to find some solutions in this area of my life?

This final step is one of the hardest as it involves taking off your armor and leaning into someone else and you may be surprised with just how willing people can be to assist when you are willing to step into an authentically vulnerable place and ask from a place of truth and honesty as opposed to neediness. 

If you don’t know anyone who you feel you can reach out to or you are just not ready to reveal this vulnerable side to people you know well, it can be the perfect time to engage professional assistance from a coach who can provide an objective and pragmatic view point in a confidential matter that can allow you to get back on track whilst maintaining privacy and discretion. 

I have designed a specific process that incorporates a retreat and immersion day that can either be done privately or in a group setting (May 12th). 

If this message resonates and you would like something tangible that would support you connect with me directly.

May 12th Reclaim Your Life Day Retreat

Connect Directly With Me





I’ve noticed a lot of women calling in “their one” this year.

After being married for over 5 years now to my absolute soul-love and having the opportunity to fall in love with him more and more as we both evolve and shift I felt compelled to share a few things around my own experience in relationship.

Ours is by no means perfect and has been at times the most challenging yet rewarding and fulfilling relationship of my life and like a good wine, gets better and better every year as I get to know this beautiful evolving human I get to call my husband, father of my children and partner in life.

A few things to realise around the so-called perfect relationship.

It will challenge you like no self-development course ever could yet you get to CHOOSE every day whether you’re in or out and the rewards in your own expansion and the journey of experiencing someone else’s growth are worth every tear, every disagreement and every part of yourself that you get to face off with whilst choosing them as your mirror.

Like any “gift” from the universe in life it doesn’t always come at the time you choose or the way in which you expected. You may not even see it when it’s here but you’ll know, there will be something deep down in your soul that just knows and no matter what challenge or obstacle that gets put in front of you YOU CHOOSE him.

Each of you gets to walk your OWN journey by each-others side and the minute you merge the two, confusion of your own identity can occur and this can be a threat to a health relationship. Be true to your own path and support the hell out of him on his and just trust that your paths will remain on parallel tracks side by side for as long as you choose.

Re-choose each day to walk by each other’s side, to have each other’s back and to hold each other in the vision of their highest most beautiful self because really, the rest is all fear based programming that is not real anyway.

There will be times you will be more like room-mates than lovers and there will be times when you wish you had more time to just be with each other, there will be times when life gets full and you play tag-team with work, kids, time-out and as long as you remember to create space for the two of you and prioritise them in the smallest of moments each day, this too shall pass and you will be onto another beautiful phase together of life.

And finally, in order to find “the one” you get to live in the experience of what the one does not look like, play in the space of relationship to learn where your own boundaries are, what is important to you and how will you choose to allow others to treat you in that space. We learn from experience so if you aren’t willing to even dive in to being in the space of dating or relationship due to being in the search for “your one” you may be calling him in for a long time.

Like a good friend said to me once after he found his one, when he chose to emerge himself into his life and simply DO and BECOME everything in life he was passionate about she showed up as she was in the same place he was for a reason, she actually wanted to be there.

I met my ONE in a café in Bondi. 3 coffees later (Sam didn’t even drink coffee back then) and late for the NZ/Aust. Rugby Game (he’s a Kiwi who loves Rugby) after a 3-hour long conversation with my soul-love and best friend my soul CHOSE him. When he showed up early on a Sunday morning to meet me at my swim with no hang-over and happy to simply join me and a girlfriend for breakfast I knew I’d called in my one.

What happened prior to that was a willingness to be in the game, actually step outside my group of friends who I spent much time with yet none of whom I’d ever date (as much as I love and adore them) and actually date outside my zone for the sake of understanding what I was looking to call in.

Stepping outside my comfort zone and being willing to play in the space of possibility.

I knew what I did and didn’t want in a relationship and as one of my highest values is growth I wanted a relationship that grew me and grow me it did.

From Sydney to almost a year in Thailand to NZ to North Queensland and then to the beautiful place we now call home, I called in a man of adventure, one that wasn’t afraid to show a more vulnerable side, one that loved me to my core and could handle the most ambitious and head-strong of females with an easy going nature that can sometimes drive me insane.

STOP looking for the perfect man and start aligning with one that shares your vision of a way of living and dive into the opportunity of shifting and molding each other’s worlds by loving each other forward.

I am SO grateful for the ONE that I have in my life and grateful for each and every NOT THE ONE along the way for each part of myself that they allowed to grow to get to the ONE I choose now and every day.

Kick the New Years Resolution & actually step into your VISION for 2019

New Years Resolutions – Why they don’t work.

When we start a New Year it feels fresh, we feel invincible and many of us place renewed hope that this year we will be more committed, more successful, healthier and happier than the last.

This generally lasts for a few days until LIFE begins to speed up, we go back to work, we return to the energy of our life from last year and old patterns of behaviour re-emerge. 


So where did we go wrong???

Well to start with the phrase This year I will….  

Whatever comes next is in future tense and refers to something that is going to happen, it hasn’t happened yet and if we continue to see it this way it may never happen. 


We believe that we can magically shift into a new way of being without acknowledging the mechanics of WHY we haven’t had this, achieved this or lived like this in the past.



We don’t actually schedule in time to work on this OR commit to the work. 

Calling something new into our lives takes commitment as well as choosing a different way of being that aligns with this new commitment.

If you want to actually EXPERIENCE radical shifts in your life this year, following is a process that you can use to actually allow that SHIFT to follow through. 

1.     Reflection

Reflection is a powerful tool that we can use to learn from our past.  We can look at the events in our lives that we get to celebrate and what the formula was that lead to those successes.  We can also look at those events that happened in our life where we felt that we fell short of your goals or we felt life happened to us.  

What did this event teach you?  Where are you now that you wouldn’t be if this had not happened?  Did you choose to limit yourself by falling into a victim mentality and feeling powerless rather than finding the silver-lining?  If everything happens for a reason then how was this serving your greater good?

Do the same with people that crossed your path?  If everyone is simply a mirror then even those we wish we’d never met have a purpose and something to teach us about ourselves.

2.     Limitations

There are no limitations outside of us that are not reflections of our internal world.  When we live in the false belief that we are limited by our external world we are powerless to create our own powerful life. 

What are the ways in which you have limited yourself in the last year?  Look at the things that you wanted to happen in your life that did not happen and then look at the belief you held that stood between you and that vision. 

When we are real with the self-limitations we place on ourselves we can actively work through them by changing our story about ourselves and therefore remove the limit to reach our vision. 

Look at the beliefs that have stopped you short of your goals and ask yourself…

Where did this come from?

Who would I have to be to conquer this?

Who has achieved what I wish to achieve and how did their beliefs differ from mine?

Where can I get support to shift this belief?

3.     Gratitude

Many of us have an understanding of what gratitude is yet are you really embodying gratitude, do you feel gratitude for each part of your life on a regular basis or are you wishing for that which is currently not in your life.  The key with attracting your vision into your life is to feel the same level of gratitude as you would for what already is as if it is already existing in your life. 

That beautiful relationship, that healthy fit body, that new home that trip overseas, live it like it is already there, how would you BE when that is in your reality?  How do you feel?  

4.     Visioning

Your genie is already in your pocket!

Those three wishes simply require your OWN magic to make real.  

The only exception is including other people into your vision, free will allows any person to choose their path so visioning a specific person to be in relationship with you will not work unless this is what they choose as well.   Cultivating the way a relationship would feel, would look and the kind of person you are calling in is absolutely okay though.

Get clear on what you are calling in, sit in the energy of how life feels when you already have this, FEEL grateful for this being in your life and then release attachment to how or in what way it will show up.  Allow the universe to do its thing. 

5.     Alignment

So you have a Vision for your life and you have sat the process for your three wishes.

What is currently in your life right now that doesn’t align with your VISION?  

This will mean going back step 2 and visiting beliefs that have been challenging you.  Clearing your physical space of anything that doesn’t feel in alignment with your vision.  Choosing the people who you surround yourself with and letting go of relationships that are disempowering you from your vision. Creating supportive practices that allows you to live in the vibration of your vision daily. 

6.     Embodiment

How are you BEING the resonance of what you are calling in.  There is a big difference between intellectually understanding something and truly embodying it.  How will you FEEL when you are living your vision.  How can you cultivate those feelings into your daily life, where are the places and who are the people who will pull those feelings out of your and allow you to live in them. Spend time each day cultivating those feelings into your daily life. 

7.     Self Love & Support

I have left THE most important step to last.  Self Love is about really understanding who we are as a person and what our needs are, how can we meet those needs within ourselves and lean into REAL support networks that are going to encourage us to put ourselves first and treat ourselves like we would a best friend.  Would you tell your best friend that they are hopeless, would you slave them to an exercise routine to get fit and look amazing or would you encourage them supportively to find what feels good and do more of that, to love your body in a loving way and nurture it daily.  Telling her she looks amazing and that you love all that she is gifting her body.  This is one of many situations we often lead into battle with ourselves to get a goal.  LOVE yourself for who you are, for who you are committed to being and be truthful with yourself when you are out of alignment of your vision and remind yourself that this is YOUR CHOICE to live in a new way and you will SHIFT IN RADICAL WAYS you once thought impossible. 

8.     Connect with others

This is the crucial part to really and truly stepping into our vision.  A tribe of people who support you and provide REAL feedback on whether you are living what you have said you’d like to is crucial to really creating the shift.  We can only see what we can see and sometimes our lens is fogged up with patterns of behavior that don’t serve us or ways of thinking that keep us held in a past perception of ourselves.  It’s time to SHIFT then gather in support for people to believe in you and believe in your vision as powerfully if not more powerfully than you.  

            Hire a coach

            Connect with others who are on a growth journey

            Get involved in communities that are doing what you want to do

            Attend events that will challenge those limiting beliefs and behaviour



4 Steps to Finding True Love this Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is a wonderful day for those who are in love and happy in their relationship but for others it can be a simple reminder that they’re not.  



Why does Valentine’s Day have to be a spent waiting for someone else to make a move?

What about Me?

When was the last time you gave yourself a compliment, when was the last time you took yourself out to lunch or treated yourself to a spa booking, bought flowers for yourself or wrote yourself a beautiful card?

Sounds desperate and corny right?  How do you expect someone else to come along and love you if you continue to find fault and reason not to love yourself?

Love is something that we are all deserving of and can have any time we choose.  When we continue to search outside of ourselves we will continue to feel frustrated and helpless. When we are in a great relationship with ourselves we are far more likely to find our ideal partner and when they do come along we are ready to share our love for ourselves with them in equal partnership.

Be YOUR own Valentine First

So this Valentine’s Day start with the most important person in your world.  Write yourself a card, buy yourself a gift and treat yourself to a beautiful day fuelled by love.   Irrespective of the your feeling towards Valentine's Day.  What would happen if you took this one day each year to remind yourself to gift to yourself first?

SHARE Love selflessly

If you want to add even more love make an effort to share your love with two other wonderful people in your life.  It could be a friend who you know could use a bit of a pick up or a parent who may have lost their partner in life.  When we give love we receive it back ten-fold and if you don’t believe me I dare you to try it out.

Write a Valentine's Card for someone you admire in your life and why you are grateful for them. Write without any intention of a response, simply send love.  You never really know where this may lead, don't think about that, just write with intention to brighten someone's day. 

Be DARING and forgiving

If you want a real Valentine’s challenge, write a card to someone who you have fallen out with in the past, send them nothing but love and kindness and write down all the lessons in life that they have blessed you with. You don't have to send this card unless you choose to but just writing it out and releasing any past tensions should give you a gift.


And finally if you are single and have already completed all of the above.  Write a letter to your future partner, thanking them for all the beautiful traits that they hold, all the characteristics that you love about them and then… get a mirror out and work out which of these traits you need to work on giving back to yourself.

This is a powerful manifestation exercise so be sure to write down EXACTLY what you want. You are far more powerful than you could ever believe and if you are really challenged by the concept of finding love for yourself some coaching and action in this area could be exactly what you need to begin the ripple effect into all other parts of your life.

FREE Self Love course.  

Create More Space for Presence in your Life

Creating Space in your Day

Most of us have lives where we are juggling several roles at once and if you’re like me it can be a challenge to flow smoothly from work mode to parent mode to creating space for myself mode.  There are days where it all just gets meshed together and it is those days where I feel like I am failing at ALL the roles in my life. 

I used to feel this way a lot before I introduced a method called Third Space into my life.  Third Space is literally as it sounds, creating a space in your day that slots in between the various parts of your life. 

At first glance it would seem ridiculous to ADD something more into ones day but what this additional space does is create a pause between the different roles that you play in your life to switch gears and be absolutely present. 

For example 

I might be on a call for work as I am walking home.  I used to get glares from my husband for being on the phone which would make me lose track of my conversation on the phone making the person on that call feel like I wasn’t really listening to them and leaving me feel guilty about failing both as a wife and a attentive business person. 

I now take the call outside, away from the house.  Complete with that call and then stand in my THIRD SPACE for less than a minute to re-focus my attention on me, reconnect with my breath and then clear my energy so that when I walk into my house I can embrace my son and my husband to really be there for them.

The same goes when I am moving from one client to the next or when I am finishing a workout of my own and then training a client.  

This small gap between the various roles in my life allows me to complete whatever it is that I need to complete and be fully present in my next part of my day. 


  1.   Complete what you were doing
  2.   Note any follow up actions that need to be taken
  3.   Pause and breathe and reconnect with yourself *
  4.   Acknowledge the next part of your day
  5.   Move into that part of your day with grace and presence

* Feel the ground under your feet or notice the temperature of your breath as it enters you nostrils or the feel sensation of your heart beating in your chest.

Try this out in your own life and send me an email to let me know how this works for you. 

Image Capture thanks to the wonderful Rebecca Colefax Insta: @rebeccacolefax

Stride with Style through 2017 - Reflect to Project your Vision

We are nearing the end of the year and it is about this time that many of us become reflective of the year that is now behind us.  For many that I have coached, this year has been one of great challenge and an emotional rollercoaster where many are making a quick sprint to the finish line.  Sound familiar?  STOP.  

While there may be pain, disappointment, hardships and challenges, that we have each encountered in our year how will we be able to create the 2017 we want if we don’t first acknowledge the 12 months that have just gone? only then are you equipped to really expand and create of your ultimate vision for 2017. 

"Like wildflower, you must allow yourself to grow in all places people thought you never would."

There are diamonds to be found in your past year that may be your key to creating the 2017 of our dreams so therefore reflecting and acknowledging all experiences without judgement and more importantly finding the gifts of hindsight that you might carry with you into 2017 is an integral part of the process of creation.  

If you had some misfortunes this year, what did you learn from these experiences? What would you do differently today than you did in that moment?  If there was a loss of a family member or friend, how can you live your life to honour them, how would they love to see you move through your life in your joy, what visions did you cast with them by your side and what actions are you taking to create these?  If you made a poor decision in your business/career this year, will you make a different decision when faced with a similar circumstance next time?  What did you achieve this year?  What can you now do coming into 2017 that you would not have thought possible a five or ten years back?

How are you going to make a positive impact next year?  Who do you need to forgive?  What story do you need to let go of?  Which feelings do you need to focus on bringing into your life on a daily basis?  Who and what do you need to commit to and what actions will you have to take to create this next year for yourself?

In the goal- setting workbook we delve into some of these questions and give you space to create so that you can make a clear set point for your year in 2017.   

You can receive it FREE when you sign up to our monthly e-newsletter.

Click here to receive my Grateful for the lessons 2016 let's create my ultimate 2017



5 Ways to Start 2017 empowered in your wellbeing.

Self Love

What do I love about my body?  What do I need support with?  How can I change my story to support and love myself more?

We spend a lot of our time in self-critical thinking.  When was the last time you paid yourself a compliment?  Maybe this year it's time to flip the critique into a cheerleader.  Notice your self critique and kindly let it know where to find 2016. 


How do I stay active now?  What is my stickability point?  Where are my results lacking?  Where can I get support?

  • New Exercise Gear
  • New Exercise Style
  • Acknowledge what's is not your jam
  • Find your FUN style
  • What's are you going to do differently next year?


Where is your energy at?  Are you happy with your eating plan?  Do you feel stressed about getting nutrition right?  What support do you need to make a real shift in your ultimate nutrition. Do you need to cleanse?


Is this something that you do in your life?  How do you switch off?  Are you able to commit to a program or routine?  Where are the pockets of your day where meditation might begin to play a role?

  • In a queue 
  • Waiting for your coffee
  • Commuting to and from work
  • Walking your dog
  • On a run


How are you contributing to something greater than yourself and connecting with a community of like-minded people.  It could be taking up a hobby or simply joining a social media group of people who are in a similar industry or play similar sports to you.  Contributing to a community whatever its size creates a sense of belonging and allows us to move beyond the walls that we tend to build around ourselves when we are busy and stressed. Find a cause that you truly believe in and donate even 3% of your time to that this year.  Watch as over the next year that 3% of your time or money becomes something more meaningful than you ever thought possible. 

Creating powerful methods and strategies for you to be able to fit wellbeing into your life means that you are more likely to create a wellbeing plan that has stickability and isn't thrown out like that ab roller from 1994.



Three Simple ways to add Cleansing into your Daily Routine

We all love to overindulge at Christmas time.

Apple cider Vinegar (organic, unfiltered) +   warm water & a tsp of raw honey to taste if you like.


  • Assists indigestion
  • Contains Gut healthy  bacteria 
  • May help clear skin
  • moderates blood sugar levels
  • Can help nasal congestion
  • Help boost your energy levels


Black Lemonade - Detox quick fix

This is a great tonic if you have been over doing the festivities over the Silly Season.  Activated charcoal is comprised of coal, peat, coconut or wood and heated to create internal pores.  The charcoal absorbs toxins and excess gas  in the gut and assists the body in eliminating.

You can make an unsweetened version by juicing a couple of lemons and adding a teaspoons of activated charcoal or if you are a sweet tooth you could add a tsp of maple syrup to the mixture.

LIttle Know Fact:  They actually use CHARCOAL in emergency rooms to treat POISONING or drug overdoses.

Soak in a bath of detox salts (I personally love the Noosa Soak by Soak Society) 

There is nothing more soothing after a hectic day than to let go of your day in a bath filled with luxury.  If you don't have a bath you can modify this with a foot soak. Our feet have the largest pores in our body and we spend most of our time neglecting them.  Simply spending 10 minutes in a soak can rejuvenate A weeks worth of partying. Create the ultimate soak by setting your scene with a warm herbal tea, some candles and soothing tunes and you will be recharged in no time.