I’ve noticed a lot of women calling in “their one” this year.

After being married for over 5 years now to my absolute soul-love and having the opportunity to fall in love with him more and more as we both evolve and shift I felt compelled to share a few things around my own experience in relationship.

Ours is by no means perfect and has been at times the most challenging yet rewarding and fulfilling relationship of my life and like a good wine, gets better and better every year as I get to know this beautiful evolving human I get to call my husband, father of my children and partner in life.

A few things to realise around the so-called perfect relationship.

It will challenge you like no self-development course ever could yet you get to CHOOSE every day whether you’re in or out and the rewards in your own expansion and the journey of experiencing someone else’s growth are worth every tear, every disagreement and every part of yourself that you get to face off with whilst choosing them as your mirror.

Like any “gift” from the universe in life it doesn’t always come at the time you choose or the way in which you expected. You may not even see it when it’s here but you’ll know, there will be something deep down in your soul that just knows and no matter what challenge or obstacle that gets put in front of you YOU CHOOSE him.

Each of you gets to walk your OWN journey by each-others side and the minute you merge the two, confusion of your own identity can occur and this can be a threat to a health relationship. Be true to your own path and support the hell out of him on his and just trust that your paths will remain on parallel tracks side by side for as long as you choose.

Re-choose each day to walk by each other’s side, to have each other’s back and to hold each other in the vision of their highest most beautiful self because really, the rest is all fear based programming that is not real anyway.

There will be times you will be more like room-mates than lovers and there will be times when you wish you had more time to just be with each other, there will be times when life gets full and you play tag-team with work, kids, time-out and as long as you remember to create space for the two of you and prioritise them in the smallest of moments each day, this too shall pass and you will be onto another beautiful phase together of life.

And finally, in order to find “the one” you get to live in the experience of what the one does not look like, play in the space of relationship to learn where your own boundaries are, what is important to you and how will you choose to allow others to treat you in that space. We learn from experience so if you aren’t willing to even dive in to being in the space of dating or relationship due to being in the search for “your one” you may be calling him in for a long time.

Like a good friend said to me once after he found his one, when he chose to emerge himself into his life and simply DO and BECOME everything in life he was passionate about she showed up as she was in the same place he was for a reason, she actually wanted to be there.

I met my ONE in a café in Bondi. 3 coffees later (Sam didn’t even drink coffee back then) and late for the NZ/Aust. Rugby Game (he’s a Kiwi who loves Rugby) after a 3-hour long conversation with my soul-love and best friend my soul CHOSE him. When he showed up early on a Sunday morning to meet me at my swim with no hang-over and happy to simply join me and a girlfriend for breakfast I knew I’d called in my one.

What happened prior to that was a willingness to be in the game, actually step outside my group of friends who I spent much time with yet none of whom I’d ever date (as much as I love and adore them) and actually date outside my zone for the sake of understanding what I was looking to call in.

Stepping outside my comfort zone and being willing to play in the space of possibility.

I knew what I did and didn’t want in a relationship and as one of my highest values is growth I wanted a relationship that grew me and grow me it did.

From Sydney to almost a year in Thailand to NZ to North Queensland and then to the beautiful place we now call home, I called in a man of adventure, one that wasn’t afraid to show a more vulnerable side, one that loved me to my core and could handle the most ambitious and head-strong of females with an easy going nature that can sometimes drive me insane.

STOP looking for the perfect man and start aligning with one that shares your vision of a way of living and dive into the opportunity of shifting and molding each other’s worlds by loving each other forward.

I am SO grateful for the ONE that I have in my life and grateful for each and every NOT THE ONE along the way for each part of myself that they allowed to grow to get to the ONE I choose now and every day.