New Years Resolutions – Why they don’t work.
When we start a New Year it feels fresh, we feel invincible and many of us place renewed hope that this year we will be more committed, more successful, healthier and happier than the last.
This generally lasts for a few days until LIFE begins to speed up, we go back to work, we return to the energy of our life from last year and old patterns of behaviour re-emerge.
So where did we go wrong???
Well to start with the phrase This year I will….
Whatever comes next is in future tense and refers to something that is going to happen, it hasn’t happened yet and if we continue to see it this way it may never happen.
We believe that we can magically shift into a new way of being without acknowledging the mechanics of WHY we haven’t had this, achieved this or lived like this in the past.
We don’t actually schedule in time to work on this OR commit to the work.
Calling something new into our lives takes commitment as well as choosing a different way of being that aligns with this new commitment.
If you want to actually EXPERIENCE radical shifts in your life this year, following is a process that you can use to actually allow that SHIFT to follow through.
Reflection is a powerful tool that we can use to learn from our past. We can look at the events in our lives that we get to celebrate and what the formula was that lead to those successes. We can also look at those events that happened in our life where we felt that we fell short of your goals or we felt life happened to us.
What did this event teach you? Where are you now that you wouldn’t be if this had not happened? Did you choose to limit yourself by falling into a victim mentality and feeling powerless rather than finding the silver-lining? If everything happens for a reason then how was this serving your greater good?
Do the same with people that crossed your path? If everyone is simply a mirror then even those we wish we’d never met have a purpose and something to teach us about ourselves.
There are no limitations outside of us that are not reflections of our internal world. When we live in the false belief that we are limited by our external world we are powerless to create our own powerful life.
What are the ways in which you have limited yourself in the last year? Look at the things that you wanted to happen in your life that did not happen and then look at the belief you held that stood between you and that vision.
When we are real with the self-limitations we place on ourselves we can actively work through them by changing our story about ourselves and therefore remove the limit to reach our vision.
Look at the beliefs that have stopped you short of your goals and ask yourself…
Where did this come from?
Who would I have to be to conquer this?
Who has achieved what I wish to achieve and how did their beliefs differ from mine?
Where can I get support to shift this belief?
Many of us have an understanding of what gratitude is yet are you really embodying gratitude, do you feel gratitude for each part of your life on a regular basis or are you wishing for that which is currently not in your life. The key with attracting your vision into your life is to feel the same level of gratitude as you would for what already is as if it is already existing in your life.
That beautiful relationship, that healthy fit body, that new home that trip overseas, live it like it is already there, how would you BE when that is in your reality? How do you feel?
Your genie is already in your pocket!
Those three wishes simply require your OWN magic to make real.
The only exception is including other people into your vision, free will allows any person to choose their path so visioning a specific person to be in relationship with you will not work unless this is what they choose as well. Cultivating the way a relationship would feel, would look and the kind of person you are calling in is absolutely okay though.
Get clear on what you are calling in, sit in the energy of how life feels when you already have this, FEEL grateful for this being in your life and then release attachment to how or in what way it will show up. Allow the universe to do its thing.
So you have a Vision for your life and you have sat the process for your three wishes.
What is currently in your life right now that doesn’t align with your VISION?
This will mean going back step 2 and visiting beliefs that have been challenging you. Clearing your physical space of anything that doesn’t feel in alignment with your vision. Choosing the people who you surround yourself with and letting go of relationships that are disempowering you from your vision. Creating supportive practices that allows you to live in the vibration of your vision daily.
How are you BEING the resonance of what you are calling in. There is a big difference between intellectually understanding something and truly embodying it. How will you FEEL when you are living your vision. How can you cultivate those feelings into your daily life, where are the places and who are the people who will pull those feelings out of your and allow you to live in them. Spend time each day cultivating those feelings into your daily life.
7. Self Love & Support
I have left THE most important step to last. Self Love is about really understanding who we are as a person and what our needs are, how can we meet those needs within ourselves and lean into REAL support networks that are going to encourage us to put ourselves first and treat ourselves like we would a best friend. Would you tell your best friend that they are hopeless, would you slave them to an exercise routine to get fit and look amazing or would you encourage them supportively to find what feels good and do more of that, to love your body in a loving way and nurture it daily. Telling her she looks amazing and that you love all that she is gifting her body. This is one of many situations we often lead into battle with ourselves to get a goal. LOVE yourself for who you are, for who you are committed to being and be truthful with yourself when you are out of alignment of your vision and remind yourself that this is YOUR CHOICE to live in a new way and you will SHIFT IN RADICAL WAYS you once thought impossible.
8. Connect with others
This is the crucial part to really and truly stepping into our vision. A tribe of people who support you and provide REAL feedback on whether you are living what you have said you’d like to is crucial to really creating the shift. We can only see what we can see and sometimes our lens is fogged up with patterns of behavior that don’t serve us or ways of thinking that keep us held in a past perception of ourselves. It’s time to SHIFT then gather in support for people to believe in you and believe in your vision as powerfully if not more powerfully than you.
Hire a coach
Connect with others who are on a growth journey
Get involved in communities that are doing what you want to do
Attend events that will challenge those limiting beliefs and behaviour