The Downfall of Being The Strong One

It can be so hard to express what we are feeling when what we are feeling doesn’t line up with how we are perceived in the world.  When how we are feeling is actually not congruent with how we see ourselves as a person and when there is a fear of being judged, perceived as weak and incapable and when we’ve spent years proving to the world that we have what it takes to handle it all. 

When we build a persona of being a strong person or having it all together and we find ourselves in an unfamiliar place of burn out and exhaustion where we don’t feel like that at all, we come to a cross roads where we deny our wellbeing to keep playing the game of pretense at the cost of dying a little more inside each day. 

Each day you push your own feelings further down, each day you put on that smile and walk out the door like “it’s all fine” you are denying yourself of the one gift that could bring you back to true joy, to a whole new level of happiness and actually give yourself the permission to live fully and own your truth. The gift to fell fully and allow your whole self to be seen. 

Underneath all the “getting on with it” and “denial” you are poisoning and numbing your body with addictions to keep going be it caffeine, sugar, alcohol, sex the list goes on.... 
You are denying your head of space to create clarity with a schedule that is jammed with appointments, meetings and events and you are inhibiting your own potential expanding by denying yourself self-care or time out and continuing to say yes to everyone else’s needs at the expense of your own. 

Re-evaluating the way in which we are living our life and actually creating space to get clear on what is truly important to us and what brings us joy is key to creating a focused path forward and freeing yourself from the constraints of a burnt-out existence.  This takes courage, to actually allow yourself the space to breathe and invest in the one asset that is holding everything together. 

Your Self!

You can seek all the intellectual help in the world in the form of books and courses but until you move out of your head and back into your own heart and are willing to let go of a way of life that is no longer serving your you will remain stuck in perpetual a cycle of self-sabotage. 

We are so clever at our patterns of “over-giving” “over-committing” and “denial of self-care” that the simplest solutions may be caught in the fog of your own head clutter.

So how can you move from a place of burning out to burning bright?

5 key steps

1. Bring Self Care into Focus

It’s not about how much time you have, it’s where you prioritise spending it.

Self Care can be as simple as taking 5 minutes out to consciously breathe, going for a 15 minute walk at lunch time, ensuring that you are nourishing your body with healthy food.  Look at all the ways in which you can bring practices into your day that nurture and support your body and begin to put yourself first.  Even if it is ensuring you eat something before feeding the family, shifting your focus to place more value on yourself is a shift your inner self will experience and be grateful for. 


2. Reclaim Your Time  - Say NO More Often

Recognise where you are giving away your own time for small favors, phone calls, meaningless television, office gossip, social media.  Really begin to look at where you’re spending your time and evaluate its importance to you. 

3. Schedule YOUR SELF into your diary

It’s easy to schedule in work projects, appointments and things that are obviously creating an ROI however understanding that without YOU working at optimal functionality none of the work will be done to the same standard.  Begin to schedule self-care into your work day as your biggest client wanting to invest more with you or your

4. Zone in

What is the ONE zone that is lacking your attention and causing the most disruption in how you are coping and being day to day.  

Self Care

Financial Management

Healthy Eating

Exercise

Sleep Management

Time Management

Family Time

Relationship Focus

Choose this one zone and focus on three simple actions you can take this week to pull this area back into alignment.  Is there a conversation you get to have?  Is there a shift in your diet that is creating a pain point?  Are you ignoring the way in which money is moving in and out of your life?  What can you create a focus on with the intention to gain more clarity and feel more in control of and in alignment with. 

5. Call In Genuine Support

This is the BIG one that can be a real challenge for people in leadership roles and people who are used to being the one to handle it all so well.  Calling in support is key to allowing you to create more space to breathe in your life.  

Where are you currently not allowing support in? 

Honesty, Ownership and Courage are key here. 

Example

Life is not going in the direction that I would like it to be at the moment and I recognise that I am not great at asking for support.  The area of my life that I would love some support in right now is _______.  I am asking you because I trust your guidance and appreciate your honesty.  Can you assist me in creating ways to find some solutions in this area of my life?

This final step is one of the hardest as it involves taking off your armor and leaning into someone else and you may be surprised with just how willing people can be to assist when you are willing to step into an authentically vulnerable place and ask from a place of truth and honesty as opposed to neediness. 

If you don’t know anyone who you feel you can reach out to or you are just not ready to reveal this vulnerable side to people you know well, it can be the perfect time to engage professional assistance from a coach who can provide an objective and pragmatic view point in a confidential matter that can allow you to get back on track whilst maintaining privacy and discretion. 

I have designed a specific process that incorporates a retreat and immersion day that can either be done privately or in a group setting (May 12th). 

If this message resonates and you would like something tangible that would support you connect with me directly.

May 12th Reclaim Your Life Day Retreat

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